It's official. I have become the victim of identity theft.
Hard to believe, I know. I always thought my credit was so shot, if anyone stole my identity, they'd actually improve it, but no such luck.
Anyway...the story goes like this:
I was checking the balance on my debit card, when I noticed it seemed considerably lower than it should have. So, like a good girl, I checked the list of recent transactions...saw nothing out of the ordinary, but that days' transactions were not yet posted. Okay. Takes awhile to update. no problem.
So, today, at work, I check again. I see the charges: Grocery store, Movie place, Gas station. Yada, yada. And then...I see it. A web site address with a charge of $51.30 next to it. This is a site I have never heard of. So I type in the web address listed and saw what it was. And if they hadn't stolen $51.30 of my money, I might have been amused at what I saw.
A web site for Indian Matrimonial's (dot Indians, not Tonto Indians). Seriously. Check it out. www.shaadi.com
And so, I say to myself....self? You're not Indian. You're not interested in matrimony. I'm quite sure you don't want to marry an Indian. And so, I pick up my phone and I dial the "customer service" number listed on the back of my debit card.
Customer Service. I am using those words really liberally right now.
After a 10 minute hold time, I am connected with someone. I explain my issue. And her response, which I just loved, was "Well, ma'am, the only thing you can do is call the merchant who charged you and see if they will give your money back since it was an unauthorized charge. If they won't, re can file a dispute, but that could take 120 days."
(Guess who isn't happy right about now? Like having the flu isn't enough?)
Okay. So I hang up with the "service" agent, and I dial the toll-free number on the Matrimonial website. It rings. I listen to some idiotic message about refinancing your home, and it disconnects me.
Me: "Mother Fu...." re-dial.
Rings. Message. Beep beep beep.
Me: "Son of a..."
Evidently, this number is only toll-free if you're in INDIA.
So, I call the not toll-free number. You can imagine my disgust at this point. When the...person...answers the phone, I can make out about 3 of the 25 words he greeted me with. This is not going to be pretty, I think to myself. And I am pretty sure I talked to this guy the last time I had to call AOL for tech support.
Habib, is that you?
And so, once again, I regale him with the tale of my debit issue, the fact that is was unauthorized, that I have never been on his site, never heard of his site, etc, etc. And what I hear is: "I understand that m'am, but sjhfksdiufhowef sfhags asdfhgasduy sadfyuasgdfu asdjha;oe asidhofu."
Yeah, that's what it sounded like in my head.
So I say..."I didn't understand what you just said, I'm sorry."
"I understand what you are saying, but skjhflsadhf djsfh asldkjfl alsduifhmkdf dfd df fdbs laksdb."
In my head: You have GOT to be f kidding me. "Sir, do you perhaps have a supervisor I can speak to?"
"Yes, please hold." Why the hell can't you talk like that the rest of the time?
Supervisor: "Yes, can I help you?"
Me: repeating myself for the umpteenth time.
Him: "Okay, ma'am, I understand but fjsaldfh asdf asldfha;of sdofuhas;dfo."
COME ON!!!
Me: "Look, bub. I am trying to explain to you that you allowed someone to charge a card of mine without my permission. I would not, have not, will NEVER be interested in Hindi matrimonial services. I'm not Indian. I don't plan on BEING Indian. I don't want to marry an Indian, I just want my money back."
Him: "Ma'am, sdjkf sdfs statement sfdsdfdsfp werwe customer service."
Me: "And how do I do that?"
Him: "Scan sdfsagd statement and send it to etr;awoirhga service."
:::forehead slap::
"FINE. I will do that."
So I did that. They have a "claim" open. I have also called back and opened a dispute with my debit card company, because I am pretty sure I had a real lack of communication with the other people.
And how was YOUR day?
