Candles I never light..

I've been told I think too much. This is not something I deny. My mind is constantly working, even when I wish it would stop. Overthinking things is one of my very worst habits. But, once in awhile, it also leads to a moment of clarity.

 

I love candles. I kinda collect them, in fact.  I love the light they give off, the ambiance of peace and tranquility they project. The romantic glow they give things.

I have tons of them through my home, especially my bedroom. Different sizes and scents (my favorite happens to be Stormy Nights....for one really wonderful reason...) and styles. You'd be hard pressed to find a surface that doesn't have a candle upon it in my bedroom.

But it occured to me today... most of them have never been lit.

Why? Am I saving them for something special? A special occasion? A "visitor" that won't ever come?

I have these beautiful, fragrant candles...just sitting there. They have so much beauty to give and they sit there. Collecting dust. Going to waste. Being totally unappreciated. No life in them at all.

That's how I've lived my life lately. I've put myself on this proverbial shelf, collecting dust, going to waste, when I know, inside me, there is SO much I have to give. So much love to share. So much life in me. So much light. And I've not let it shine for a very, very long time. I've spent so much time wishing and waiting for the right one to shine for, that I forgot sometimes it's okay just to shine for no reason, to shine for everyone to see.

To just be alive.

 Be on fire.

Be.

I allowed someone to extinguish the flame that is me, my spirit and my passion, and I've sat here since. Feeling alone and sad and lifeless.

And I don't want to live that way anymore.

Yes, it would be amazing to have that someone special in my life, that someone who I love heart and soul and who sets my spirit afire as no one else can....

But if you live life feeling cold and sad and passionless....with no fire...how will you ever attract that person to shine for?

So, I've learned a few things: Let every day be that special occasion. Let every breath you take be celebration enough. Live each day as if it's a new beginning. Learn from your mistakes and don't let darkness rule your life.

Shine on., my friends, shine on.

More life lessons

Disclaimer: This is my blog and is therefore filled with MY thoughts, MY feelings, MY venting and anything else I want it to. So if you don't want to hear what I have to say....DON'T FREAKIN' READ IT. Isn't that easy?

 

I learned some things this week that were rather surprising. For instance:

-It doesn't matter what you're going through personally. If you dare speak (blog) about it, you'll be told that you're basically whiny and dramatic. And here I thought that's what blogs were for. Silly me.

-Talking about your life and what is happening in it and daring to put blame on certain issues where it belongs, and that just happens to NOT be yourself, means you're not "taking responsibility for your own actions." Um, poppycock. I'm ever so sorry if it bothers you, but I won't say it's MY fault my ex cheated. Or abused me. Or abandoned me, because it ISN'T. I can take responsiblity for my actions just fine. I won't take it for his.

-If you don't handle things in your life as well as other people THINK you should you are, again, whiny and  dramatic. Oh, and selfish. Let's not forget selfish. Not that it ever occured to anyone, but does the possibility exist that I handle things differently because I am, in fact, NOT YOU? Different person, different mindset, different values, different LIFE. It doesn't make me wrong, it makes me not you.

-Friendship is fleeting. 'Nuff said.

-Honesty, when properly applied, is a wonderful thing. "Honesty," when in the form of saying one thing to someones face and another behind their back is nothing but candy coated, ignorant bullshit.